It will start very subtle... Honey I love you so much I can't stand being apart. It will progress to Honey you don't need anyone be me. Don't listen to your family, they hate me! Honey, you yourself have said how much your family mistreats you right? Well I'm your family now.
Then you will start to hear how dumb you are from this new family you now have. He will tell you how fat you are, or how unappealing you are to him. How you can never do anything right. If children are involved, he will belittle you in their presence in order to establish dominance and instill fear.
Without realizing when it happened you are now in an abusive situation. Your family and friends are gone and you are totally alienated from your loved ones. What you once thought to be funny and exciting is now dark and scary. You feel alone, and frightened. The pride you once felt is replaced with a sense of humiliation. Your only focus is how not to anger him. How do you keep the peace. You are in emotional turmoil. Emotional abuse.
If it hasn't yet, then just know that the next step is physical abuse which often ends in the victim's death. What's left behind are angry, hostile children who find themselves in the same situation. Not by accident but by learned behavior.
As a mother you have allowed your daughter to witness your acceptance of such abuse thereby condoning and sanctioning it. Your cowardly sufferance communicates to your son that his father's behavior is warranted and valid.
Help is just a call away. Do something. Find your strength and make a difference. There are millions of survivors living wonderful prosperous lives. Just reach out.
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